THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
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Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
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We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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