that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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