He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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