Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
