She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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