I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
