How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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