I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
