This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
as a side note pls kill me
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
