thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
