I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
sex in a hospital.. check
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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