dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
