overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i believe in u and ur pee
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