Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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