watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's no shave November. This is our time.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
