we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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