so that wasnt chicken after all
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
