I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
