He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
