First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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