So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
