Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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