Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
