We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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