Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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