I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
