apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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