she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
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