Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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