whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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