guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
