hotel room ftw
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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