Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
