so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
