so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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