So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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