capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
