when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
