this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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