I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
