I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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