I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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