Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
