you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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