I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
