he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
smell my finger.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize