Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
