Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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