that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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