i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize