Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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