Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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