I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
it's great music for shaving your balls
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
