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Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
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Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
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I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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