Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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