There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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