Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Randomize
