maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
