This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
