O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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