I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
