I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
