Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
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Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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