I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
