I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
