Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
